We are 41 days from getting sealed in the Jordan River Utah Temple
for time and all eternity! I can hardly believe it! It’s been a long
journey to this point but it sure has been worth it. 
Pretty much everything wedding-wise is going smoothly. All that’s
really left is ordering the tuxes and finding accessories for
bridesmaids. Invitations are being addressed this weekend and will be on
their way to their destinations on Monday.
This week has been a little weird for me; I feel like I’ve been being more introverted than normal, and not quite so comfortable in my own skin. I think all the emotions of wedding stuff is getting to me. Not because I’ve been stressed or anything because really I haven’t been; it’s actually been quite an enjoyable process (the start of officially building our lives together). But more the whole idea of 2 families merging and making their own family. See as a Latter-day Saint I believe that when I am married and sealed to Jeremy I am sealed to his whole family as well (I love the Anderson’s they’re really the family that I never had; so obviously its different from my own, but definitely a good different!). But Jerm isn’t exactly getting sealed to anyone but me, because I’m not sealed to my family, and THAT is very very hard for me.
I know I really shouldn’t be all “oh poor my family isn’t sealed together” and “you don’t understand what its like to not be able to have your father at your own wedding” and all that, but… I don’t know, I guess growing up I always expected that everything bad would have worked itself out in time for my wedding; but it hasn’t. My parents are divorced, haven’t seen or talked to each other in 7 years and they’re both still hurt, one still angry, and even though I am in college I am still torn apart by all of this.
Don’t get me wrong I am incredibly grateful for the family I do have; my mom is an absolute saint, she just loves everyone unconditionally all the time, and has such a sweet and giving heart, and I know she loves me more than anything by the things she says and does but also by the example that she has consciously set day after day. She is so strong and I love her for giving me life, and raising me the best she could (maybe I’m biased but I really think she has done and is doing an excellent job, and I really hope I make her proud). I have wonderful grandparents who took us in when we had no other place to go. And they’ve helped my mom raise my brothers who can definitely be a handful, and they’re raising them to believe in God and to try to be like Jesus, and giving them opportunities to participate in sports, music, sciences, and scouts (and pretty much whatever else their little hearts desire). They’ve sacrificed time, money, and their retirement all for four children who were a little bit lost in such a big world. Really my family is wonderful, but I really wish I could give to Jeremy what he is able to give to me; a family that is sealed together for time and all eternity. (maybe, hopefully, some day).
To all those who have loved and supported me through thick and thin; thank you. You’ve prepared me to be the type of person Jeremy could fall in love with; and that means everything, because he means the world to me. Thank You!
Pretty much everything wedding-wise is going smoothly. All that’s
really left is ordering the tuxes and finding accessories for
bridesmaids. Invitations are being addressed this weekend and will be on
their way to their destinations on Monday.This week has been a little weird for me; I feel like I’ve been being more introverted than normal, and not quite so comfortable in my own skin. I think all the emotions of wedding stuff is getting to me. Not because I’ve been stressed or anything because really I haven’t been; it’s actually been quite an enjoyable process (the start of officially building our lives together). But more the whole idea of 2 families merging and making their own family. See as a Latter-day Saint I believe that when I am married and sealed to Jeremy I am sealed to his whole family as well (I love the Anderson’s they’re really the family that I never had; so obviously its different from my own, but definitely a good different!). But Jerm isn’t exactly getting sealed to anyone but me, because I’m not sealed to my family, and THAT is very very hard for me.
I know I really shouldn’t be all “oh poor my family isn’t sealed together” and “you don’t understand what its like to not be able to have your father at your own wedding” and all that, but… I don’t know, I guess growing up I always expected that everything bad would have worked itself out in time for my wedding; but it hasn’t. My parents are divorced, haven’t seen or talked to each other in 7 years and they’re both still hurt, one still angry, and even though I am in college I am still torn apart by all of this.
Don’t get me wrong I am incredibly grateful for the family I do have; my mom is an absolute saint, she just loves everyone unconditionally all the time, and has such a sweet and giving heart, and I know she loves me more than anything by the things she says and does but also by the example that she has consciously set day after day. She is so strong and I love her for giving me life, and raising me the best she could (maybe I’m biased but I really think she has done and is doing an excellent job, and I really hope I make her proud). I have wonderful grandparents who took us in when we had no other place to go. And they’ve helped my mom raise my brothers who can definitely be a handful, and they’re raising them to believe in God and to try to be like Jesus, and giving them opportunities to participate in sports, music, sciences, and scouts (and pretty much whatever else their little hearts desire). They’ve sacrificed time, money, and their retirement all for four children who were a little bit lost in such a big world. Really my family is wonderful, but I really wish I could give to Jeremy what he is able to give to me; a family that is sealed together for time and all eternity. (maybe, hopefully, some day).
To all those who have loved and supported me through thick and thin; thank you. You’ve prepared me to be the type of person Jeremy could fall in love with; and that means everything, because he means the world to me. Thank You!
