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Alpine or Nebo?

These are the two school districts I am allowed to apply for an internship at. However, I can choose one, and only ONE district to apply for. My decision had basically been made since applying to the Early Childhood Education program at BYU last year. My choice has always been Alpine. I completed my observational requirements in Alpine, class volunteer requirements, and now my practicum experience in Alpine.

Sign-ups for interviews came around (last Thursday), I went to sign up and didn't feel settled about my decision at all, even though I  had thought it all through, there was no reason for me not to sign up for Alpine.

Except...

Feeling that it wasn't right for me.

I walk over to Nebo's sign-up table. Talk to the representatives there. They were friendly, warm and inviting. But still, my mind is swimming, almost shouting "But the prospects of getting a job at an amazing school right after my internship look incredible in Alpine if I intern there!" and still a feeling of "Nebo is where you should be" persisted. 

Enter Inner-turmoil.

I decide to go with my initial decision of Alpine. I walk to Alpine's table. Talk to the representatives there. One representative is one of my favorite professors of my whole BYU experience. I know she'd recommend me. I know I'd get a placement. It's a safe decision. One I logically want to make. I can't shake the feeling that it isn't right. How could it not be right?! I love Alpine. I love the schools, the people, the students, the parents, the support. WHY NOT ALPINE????

I don't know. 

But I knew I couldn't sign my name to their interview paper. I walk back to Nebo. Take a deep breath in, consciously decide to act in faith, sign my name, breathe out.

Wednesday, March 27th at 11:20am. I will be going to an unknown place, to persuade principles I don't know, and who don't know me, that I am the right intern for their school. To trust ME with THEIR kids. I really hope that I made the right decision. Or else, all this hard work, will have been for naught.

Faith. Hope. Please don't leave me now.

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